Thursday, August 25, 2011

Domestic Goddess

You know you've settled down when you get a membership to Sam's Club.  I don't really need to shop in bulk, but does anyone?  Plus, you've gotta support Arkansas' economy when you can. This is why I didn't go with Costco.  (Also, because Uncle John put me on his business account.  I've got mad connections.)  Also, I not sure there's a greater high than buying 36 double rolls of toilet paper, four sticks of deodorant, two giant bottles of coffee creamer, and double family pack of Honey Bunches of Oats (with Almonds!) at the same time.

In other news, I still don't have a job, nor have I even been seriously considered for one to the best of my knowledge.  On the contrary, I was rejected by a university in Chicago (I decline to name the specific university to protect my reputation - but the initials are U of C) in a record two hours and 45 minutes.  It took me three hours just to fill out the application and write myself up.  Boom.  Humbled.  Some people might be ashamed to admit that, but not me.  I look on the bright side.  I grab life by the horns and wrestle it into submission.  I take nasty, rotten, putrid lemons and turn them into sage-infused vodka lemonade.  On a related note, I am now proficient in both cover letter- and resume-writing, and more than proficient in researching for jobs.   Stick that in your careerbuilder pipe and smoke it.  

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Matt left me earlier this week to go to Houston for work.  Certain that I would fall apart without his  benevolent presence to guide me through the days, he worried his way through his meetings, anxious to get home and coddle me into a peaceful state once more.  Little did he know, I had bigger and better plans in the form of my very own DIY project.  Because now I'm domesticated, and I can buy things and make them into better things.

Saturday, before Matt left, we traipsed over to my new favorite haunt, the Village Treasure House, where we found a used nightstand for $25.  Only $25!  Do you know how much those things cost these days?  Upwards of $100, at least!  No way I'm spending that much on a little dinky cabinet to hold my mouthguard (I now have a teeth clenching problem, courtesy of India) and glass of water.  I would much rather stick my water and guard on something we already have... like the small safe Nick and Jen got us for our wedding.  (So many uses for a safe!)

Anyway, this nightstand needed a little coddling of its own, so we sanded it down (by hand, which I don't recommend), and then I lovingly and painstakingly painted it, a task which kept me busy for most of the 48 hours Matt was away.  Seriously, these things take time.  We had decided we wanted something chic and exciting, a la this little number from Crate & Barrel:
FYI, if anyone feels that I should have this exact cabinet in my home, I agree with you, and I'd gladly accept it as a gift and token of your love and affection.  It costs $900.  A steal!  

So we went to Lowe's and bought a paint and primer combo called "Enchanted Navy".  So chic.  So exciting.  I didn't have a paintbrush, so we bought one of those, too.  And sandpaper, for the sanding.  We spent about $30.  Then I had to go buy new drawer knobs for it.  $5.  New nightstand total:  $60.  Hmm.  I'm new at this DIY stuff, but I'm not sure your refurbishing supplies should exceed the cost of the actual product.  Unless it was free.  Ah, well, such is life.  

Many, many hours and four very thin coats of paint later, the deed was done.  Add in what Matt should pay me for my backbreaking labor (roughly $40/hour), and the final total came up to:  $1660.  Not quite a bargain, per se, but still better than something you might buy at, ahem, Macy's.  

Before  (But after the sanding.  I forgot to take a true before picture):

And After!

And the finished product:  
I am fully aware that it looks like a face with book teeth, and I'm okay with that.  

Soooo, it isn't quite the chic and exciting finished product I was envisioning, but it isn't terrible.  Somehow the color came out much lighter and brighter and more primary-color-wheel-esque than I had anticipated.  That's okay.  I am consoling myself with the fact that after we have kids, we can stick this little guy in the kid's room and the bright and cheerful blue color will brighten his/her days forever.  Hell, I might even stencil some trains on it.  Or teddy bears.  Or creepy old-fashioned dolls with glass eyes. Eventually.  (I'm not pregnant, I promise.  I'm just thinking ahead. Waaay ahead.)  

Anyway, Matt came home and was just about as impressed as I was.  Which isn't saying much.  However, we are both pleased to have a new nightstand for our sundries.  Plus, now I have a whole can of bright, primary blue paint to do with as I please.  Stay tuned for my next DIY project:  Blue Dresser, followed by Blue Mantle, Blue Mirror, and probably Blue Faux Leather Chairs.  

Oh, also, in light of recent DIY events, Matt has elected to skip his Seoul trip in August to babysit me.  Any and all who were invited to visit are still invited, but things might be a touch more unpleasant with him around.  I joke, I joke.